Hello, welcome to the second entry of the year. There'll be no fabrications and falsehoods in this blog. It's so unseasonably warm here in Orlando. In fact, all over the Eastern side of the United States it's been very, very warm. In Cincinatti it's been unbelievably warm. As a matter of fact, did you hear about that dead woman who has been watching tv for the last two and a half years? It was so warm in Cincinatti today she got up and went for a walk. It was so hot in Washington D.C. today that the statue of Lincoln had a plate of chicken and potato salad on his lap.
I think we must live in an alternate universe. Our universe is upside-down, inside-out, and left-to-right instead of right-to-left. Nothing here makes sense to me. The Reverend Jesse Jackson and Bruce Gordon (the new president of NAACP) are planning a big event to honor a very special hero of the black community. This event is expected to draw 15,000 people and will probably be held in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum.
Who is this Black American hero they are planning to honor? Is it Colin Powell, the first black 4-star general, first black chairman of the joint chiefs, first black man to be Secretary of State, and first black man who could be President if only he wanted to be? No. It's not him. Is it Clarence Thomas, the first black man to sit on the Supreme Court of the United States? Nope. Is it Dr. Condoleeza Rice, Stanford professor and the first black woman to serve as Secretary of State. Nope, not her. Is it Guy Bluford, the first black NASA astronaut who flew for 8 days in space? Nope. Not him. Is it Ron McNair, the second black NASA astronaut (who died in the space shuttle Challenger disaster)?? Nope. Not good enough. Is it Dr. Walter Williams, distinguished professor of economics at George Mason University, and another truly inspiring black American. Nope. Is it Dr. Thomas Sowell, distinguished professor from Stanford University? No.
Is it Richard Pryor, a real national treasure, who just recently passed away? Nope, not him either... I could go on and on. There are thousands and thousands of truly amazing black Americans who deserve an honor like this.... So who is it that The Reverend Jackson and the NAACP plan to honor??? Which black icon is going to draw 15,000 people to honor him???? It's none other than Stan "Tookie" Williams, the thieving murdering thug who founded the Crips gang--- The coward who killed a little old lady with a shotgun blast to her face. This guy was so rotten and vile that they had to put him to sleep to get rid of him once and for all. That's who. That's who is being honored. That's the role model for our young people.... I'm sorry. I just don't get it. Can this really be happening????
Well, all that aside, I have a bunch of stuff for you to enjoy, so let's get started.
CANNED LAUGHTER
Top Ten Signs You're In A Bad Sex Video
10. First 20 minutes shows you inflating your "co-star"
9. All the good stuff is obscured by the words "low battery"
8. Most of film involves you negotiating with her pimp
7. Paris' pet monkey won't stop biting you
6. Plumber shows up to fix your leaky faucet... and then leaves
5. The romantic candles accidently ignited your hairpiece
4. The N.S.A. guy spying on you runs in and begs you to stop
3. It's less popular than the Wilford Brimley sex video
2. Hillary keeps walking in and interrupting
1. You're the only person in it
DOCTOR WHO NEWS
If anybody knows me, one of my favorite television shows ever is Doctor Who. So, once in a while I will report some Who news here. Like this: SCI FI Channel announced Jan. 12 that it will air the first season of the BBC's hit SF series Doctor Who, starting in March. The 13 episodes, starring Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Billie Piper as Rose Tyler, will air as part of SCI FI Fridays at 9 p.m. ET/PT. The series, from head writer and executive producer Russell T. Davies, ran originally in the United Kingdom last year and was one of the network's biggest hits ever. An update of the classic Doctor Who show, the series continues in the U.K. with an upcoming second season that will star David Tennant as the Doctor. "The Doctor's made all sorts of journeys in time and space, but this is one of his most exciting yet!" Davies said in a statement. "I'm a huge fan of the SCI FI Channel, and I'm delighted that Doctor Whois appearing on a channel that supports and enhances the entire genre." "With its rich history of imaginative storytelling, Doctor Who is a true sci-fi classic," Thomas P. Vitale, SCI FI's senior vice president, programming and original movies, said in a separate statement. "We're excited to add the show to our lineup." Meanwhile, BBC Video announced that it has moved the proposed U.S. release date of the Doctor Who first-season DVD set to July 4 from its originally planned February launch.
FAKE OR FOTO
So, did you figure out if the picture in the last entry was fake or foto? It was fake. 100% CG! Amazing, eh? Okay, here's another one.
Once again, is it fake or foto?
ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH
While I was bored one afternoon, I was checking out Google Maps. So, check this out. Using Google Maps we can find some satellite pictures of some pretty amazing things. Here are a few I have found.
Statue of Liberty
Ground Zero
Hollywood Sign
Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch.
Twin Nuclear Reactors
Yankee Stadium
Salem County, NJ - Hope Creek Nuclear Plant
Mall of America
Alcatraz
St. Louis Arch
Empire State building
Trinity nuclear test site
Mt. St. Helens
Space needle
Playboy Mansion
Mount Rushmore
Old Faithful
SeaWorld
Disneyland
Disneyworld
Hoover Dam
Washington Monument, Washinton D.C.
The Initech building from “Office Space” =)
Area51
Where the Space Shuttle Launches
Missle Launching Site
Cape Canaveral 2 shuttle launch sites & hangar.
Pentagon
Blurred Government Bldgs
Here's another If Cartoons Were Real People.
You're a good man, Phil Collins.
MOVIE BUZZ
STAR TREK: THE BEGINNING: There are three types of geeks in the world: Star Wars, Star Trek and Lord of the Rings. It may be completely unsubstantiated fanboy speculation, but if Tom Hanks really does want to star, it pegs him as a Trekkie.
CASINO ROYALE: How cool would it be if they really did sign George Michael to do the soundtrack?
X-MEN 3: Patrick Stewart says the script is the best of the three, and in this interview, Hugh Jackman claims fans will "go ballistic" at the first midnight screening. And not because they'll want to kill Brett Ratner. This isn't easy for me to do, but I'm gonna officially renounce my cynicism — for now — and let myself believe that X3 ain't gonna blow.
24: Here's a TV spinoff that should actually make a decent movie. Of course, I liked Starsky and Hutch and Dukes of Hazzard, so my credibility is pretty much shot in this department.
BATMAN BEGINS 2: The original trilogy was ruined by cramming in too many villains. With the Joker (latest casting rumor: Adrien Brody) and Two-Face (Josh Lucas, perhaps) virtually a lock for this sequel and rumors of the Black Mask and mobster Salvatore Maroni joining the club, it looks as though history might repeat itself.
And now for the teaser of the week: Clerks 2 teaser
Well, that's it for this entry. I will leave you with another random picture. Until next time...
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